A: Daddy, you're a man, right?
Me: Yes, and you're a big boy.
A: When will I be a man?
Me: First you'll be a bigger boy, then an even bigger boy, and then one day you'll be a man.
A: okay.
---->20 minutes later
A: Daddy, Ryan (6-month old baby brother) and I agree that I'm already a bigger boy.

Rachael and Avery were in the car leaving the house.
A: Mommy, when do I get to drive?
R: When you're 16, you have to wait a bit.
A: But when I can drive, where will I park my car?
R: Well, if you get a car, you'll park it on the driveway.
A: Where will you park your car?
R: In the garage, where I always park it.
A: Mommy, if I get a car, you can park on the driveway and I'll park in the garage.

A: Daddy, Oscar's grouchy because he lives in a gawbage can, right?

A: Daddy, did you watch football while I was napping?
Me: Just a little... after my nap.
A: I hope they didn't phucko the ball.
Me: Excuse me???!!!
A: You know, when they drop it while they're running, phucko.
Me: Fumble... right... no fumbles.

Avery and his baby brother Ryan were playing together on our bed.  Ryan started fussing.

A: Ryan, what's happening?

Ryan starts to cry when Avery tries to hug him.

A: Oh... (in a sad voice) I guess I'M "what's happening".

Avery and Rachael were driving home from preschool when out of nowhere, Avery started with a thought.

A: Mommy, when I'm a rockstar, how will I get from city to city?
R: Well... I guess you'll either drive a car or probably take a bus.
A: Yeah, me and my band will ride in the bus together.  Will you come watch?
R: Of course!  Can I ride on the bus with you and the band?
A: No.  The bus is only for me and the band, no Mommies.
R: Oh, well maybe I can get my own bus?
A: Great idea Mommy.  Your bus can drive behind ours.

As I finished grilling this evening in the warm Minneapolis January outside, Avery came to watch.

A: What are you doing now Daddy?
Me: Just finishing up, pulling onions off the grill.
A: Daddy, "undies" don't go on the grill, they go in the wash when they're dirty.

Avery and I were in the restroom at a restaurant and he was waiting for me.  Lately Avery asks what every sign says...

A: Daddy, what does that sign say?
Me: I can't read it write now because it's behind me.
A: Well... I can't read anything.  It's very fwustwating.