Last night Avery was not a very good boy before bed and was quite mean to me before falling asleep.  This morning he walks into the bathroom while I'm shaving.

Me: Good morning, Avery
Avery: Mornin' Daddy
Me: How'd you sleep?
A: Good
Me: Do you remember how you behaved to Daddy last night?  I sure hope you choose to treat me differently today.
A: Yeah... even though I made you mad and sad, you can still make me breakfast this morning.  

Watching football, Avery now seems to think whoever the Vikings are playing against is the Packers.

Avery: Daddy, how come we don't want the Packers to score a touchdown?
Me: Because that would be bad for the Vikings
Avery: Oh.  But if the Packers score a touchdown then do we get to sing "Skol Vikings"?
Me: No, only when the Vikings score do we get to sing.
Avery: Then I don't want the Packers to score a touchdown.

Amen.

***As I asked Avery about the characters on Disney's "Jake and the Pirates", he starts to tell me about the legendary Captain Hook.  I asked him, "What's the name of the guy with Captain Hook?"  Avery says, "Oh, that's Steve."
Me: You mean "Smee?"
Avery: Daddy, Smee is not a real name.  His name is Steve.
***Avery noted that there were funny cloud lines in the sky.  Rachael and I explained that some planes are able to "leave smoke" in the sky and that's what he was seeing.  
Avery: Oh, you mean like at Disney when we saw "I love you" written in the sky?
Us: Yes, exactly.  That was a plane that was able to write the words with smoke.
Avery: Hmmm... I don't think it was a plane, Mommy, I think it was God.

Going to bed tonight, every time I walked by Avery's room I had to say "goodnight" and give a hug and a kiss.  Two, three times is great, but when he asked the fourth time I said "no, it's time for bed" and walked past.  Quickly he said, "Daddy, I just have two questions for you."

Me: Avery, two questions is too many
Avery: Fine, I'll just ask the second question
Me: Okay.  What's the second question?
Avery: ummmm.... the second question is, "Can you tell me what the first question is?"

Can't make this stuff up.

As I stood in the kitchen this morning making coffee, Avery came into the kitchen and my back was to him.  "Daddy, look at my cute new clothes!"  I turn around and he has no clothes on at all.  Lovely.  Good sense of humor though...

"Daddy, I was wondering the other day what was in that box with Buzz Lightyear.  And then I thought, 'maybe it is new boots'.  And you know what... it was 'new brand boots!'"

After 30 minutes of kicking, screaming, time-outs, tantrums, etc. Avery abruptly stops and in a completely calm voice says, "Daddy, I don't know about you but I'm tiyode of being upstairs, I'm going down to play.  Want to come?"

Daddy, look how quickly I got in the car.  I'm not a slow-poke, I'm a fast-poke.

*** @ Dinner at Disney, Avery was debating between the only two things on the menu he would eat: Chicken Nuggets or Noodles with butter.  When the waiter came up to the table and asked, "Is everyone ready to order?"  3-year-old Avery responded, "I'm not quite ready, could you pwease come back?" 

***Avery seeing his Dr. at religious services says, "What's he doing here, I'm not sick."

*** Avery, "Daddy, when we go to the airport, I'll make sure to help Ryan take off his shoes."

*** Avery, pointing to a picture of the Genie from Aladdin in a book, "Look Daddy, how'd he get to Minnesota from Disney?"
David: "Maybe he took the plane like we did back from Disney."
Avery: "Silly Daddy, he doesn't take planes, he flies on a magic carpet."

*** @ 6 p.m. last night Avery puts his baseball hat on because he's going across the
street to play @ the neighbor's house. Rachael says, "Avery, it's dark out,
don't worry it wont be sunny." He says, "I know Mommy, I'm wearing it in case
it's moony."  Brilliant.

*** Avery comment of the day...

he's carrying all of his sheets down stairs to put them in the laundry and he
stops and says "hey, i'm like a lady!"
i say "what????" thinking he's
already a male pig...
he says, "you know, like a mommy"
"why?"

"because i have lots of stuff in my arms just like mommys do."

*** OLDER ONES
Avery (3-year-old) this morning,
"Daddy, why are there buttons on my shirt today?  I'm not going to work." 

*** Said 3-year-old Avery sadly, upon
finding his "painting" in the garbage, "this is art... not gawbage"

*** Avery asked, "Mommy, does the
baby in your tummy have pajamas on?"

***quote when Rachael was pregnant: "mommy, when i'm a big brother will i still be an
avery?"